This is probably gonna be a lengthy one, so grab a cup of coffee, a beer, a glass of wine or any beverage you prefer. I thought that I would do a review of what happened in 2009. So here it goes:
I have to start out with the saddest day of my life. My mom passed away on January 4 after a long courageous battle with cancer. Unfortunately as happens in a lot of cases she lost her battle. There will never be anyone else in the world that could take her place in my heart. I remember it like is was yesterday. The night before let's just say I had a little too much sloe gin and OJ. Anyway, when that phone rang early that morning I knew what that call was. I hesitated to answer, but I did. One thing that I will say is anyone who has a family member or friend suffering with cancer, we always have hope. Hope that the treatment will work, hope that they will find a cure, and hope that if they lose the battle that they go easily and are finally free of all the pain that comes along with it. I am just glad that my mom is not suffering anymore.
Mom did not want a funeral. I remember her telling me that if we wanted to do something for her afterwards that that was fine, but no funeral. She hated them and all the sadness that comes along with them. So we had a "family" get together, like old times with all the family there eating, talking, laughing. It is exactly what she would have wanted. And it went very well. A big thank you to Sarah for the use of her home and all the help. We saw family members that we had not seen in a very long time and some that we did not even know. They came from all over the country to be there. I still have some of the roses that were in a vase next to her picture. One day I will make a scrapbook, but not yet.
One thing of note that just seems so strange to me was that I had a dream about my mom one night, or what I thought was a dream. They say that loved ones come in your dreams, but I am just not sure that it was actually a dream. I dreamed that she came to me and we talked and she said that she was gone and that she wasn't coming back. I asked her if she wasn't coming back could she do me a favor. I asked her to watch over and protect my grandchildren. She said she would and then I woke up. Well, the next day we were shopping and stopped at the plant store on 5Th Street. For some reason we had Haily sit behind the driver's seat instead of the passenger seat. Normally we would have put the flat of plants behind the driver's seat, but this time we didn't. As we neared Chipperfield Drive, a deer came down off of the hill and slammed into the side of the car, causing the windows to burst into the car and cutting Buddy on the face. There was not one part of the inside of that car that didn't have glass on it. The only thing that I could think was that my mom was watching over Haily and that is why she was sitting behind the driver's seat. She was scared, but not hurt at all.
This may sound corny but they say that when one door closes another opens and that's what happened for me. My heart was able to heal with the birth of my grandson Logan Michael on March 9. I couldn't imagine that one little guy would bring me so much happiness, but he sure has. I took Heather to the hospital for an ultrasound and they told her she was in labor. Wouldn't it figure that within 15 minutes of us leaving the hospital that he would decide to make his appearance in this world. He was and is perfect. I like to call him my little man and he is loved by so many people that it would take a very long time for me to name them all. He is the light of my eye.
The rest of the spring brought quite a few things. Haily turned 8 years old. Wow 8! This was the 4Th birthday that we had for her since she had come to live with me and Buddy. Time flies.
I once again had to make my way to court because Haily's mom wanted to change her visitation to unsupervised visits. Needless to say I was very adamant that this not occur and let my emotions get the better of me. Long story short, I was unable to control my mouth, at which point the conciliator just stood up and said that the meeting was over. He made a decision, partly giving supervised and unsupervised visits to mom. I was not happy about this, but at the same time knew that I had some responsibility in his decision, which I will never let happen again. During the meeting mom cried, as is usually the case, that she did not even have a phone number to call Haily. I finally relented after some persuasion from my attorney to give her my cell phone number. Well, I did and she has not called that cell phone one time in more than 9 months to talk to her daughter. At the same meeting her dad's visitation rights were suspended until he petitioned the court for visitation. He has yet to file those papers and probably never will.
At this time dad was incarcerated for nonpayment of child support. I allowed him to send letters to her and myself and he promised to change, promised to stop doing drugs, promised to be part of her life, etc. He was released from jail shortly after that and I allowed him to come here to visit with his daughter, who he had not seen in about two and a half years. We welcomed him into our home and Haily was so happy to see him. The visits continued for a few months, every couple of weeks, and then we began to see the change again. He wouldn't call, he would show up late, he came obviously high on whatever it was he was doing at the time. He promised to start paying child support, but that never happened either. The last time he came to visit was in June. In August he sent his daughter a letter saying that he had moved to California, which again was a lie. He was living in Jefferson County with his "uncle" with his girlfriend, who was expecting yet another child. He had lied once again and I had had my fill. I made a decision that I could no longer let him bounce in and out of his daughter's life, no matter how much I wanted him to get better and be a part of her life. He made a conscious decision to leave and lie about it, so he had no more choices from that point on. He created this elaborate story in that letter and I had the difficult task of telling his daughter the truth. What do you do when a child cries and thinks it is their fault? You tell them the truth no matter how hard it is to say. We talked and I told her the truth, the whole truth, and that I would not allow him to come back. She agreed. I have not heard from him or seen him since June of 2009. She has not mentioned him at all either. I don't know if it is a defense mechanism on her part or if she stopped caring, but that is how it is. She has many pictures of him that she keeps in a photo album and a picture of him on her wall. I asked her not long ago what she thought about her dad and she said she doesn't think about him at all. So sad for a little girl to feel that way, but she is a tough one.
The summer brought sunny skies and a beautiful garden provided by Buddy. Unfortunately, the deer were enjoying it more than we were. They ate almost everything. Oh well, there is always next year. We finished painting the house. This summer was also sad for us as Little Charlie moved to the other side of the country. We haven't had much contact with him, but I am sure that he is doing well in his new home far away and is being taken care of by him "mom". She provides the love that he needs that he would never get from his mom or dad.
In the fall, it was all about clean up in the house and around the house. We pulled up carpeting in the bedroom and living room and to our amazement we found that there were hardwood floors under that carpeting. We couldn't believe that someone would want to cover hardwood floors up. We will refinish them.
Late fall brought some bad news and some hard times to us. Buddy's job closed their doors in November. We knew that things were not good there, but we really didn't think they would close so soon. We are struggling, but we always make due with what we have and will continue to do so. Thanksgiving was spent with the three of us this year, it was quiet, but the turkey was good. We lost Aunt Jenny, too.
As December rolled around so did a little depression on my part, nothing major. December of 2008 was the last that I had seen and talked to my mom. Then Christmas came and you tend to miss the one's you love on those holidays. We had a nice Christmas, Logan's first. We missed seeing Little Charlie too.
So that is a brief on what my year was like. There were many other things that occurred also with my family. It had its ups and downs, but I made it through. Here's hoping that 2010 makes all your dreams come true and good health to you all. I am hoping that this year brings many new and exciting things for my family and yours too.
